Act of Love

Posted September 20, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General


I witnessed something amazing this weekend and I’m not using that word lightly. While the news reported cowardly acts of hate with NY and NJ bombings, there was a courageous act of love taking place in Central Park. Eric Gelber calmly and quietly ran 200 miles in two and half days to raise over $250,000 toward a cure for Multiple Myeloma.

I promised a year ago that I would be there to support him during the toughest miles, like when he broke last year’s record of 176. He not only cruised past that milestone, he added a 7:30-paced sprint for a couple hundred yards just to make sure we were paying attention. 

My brother Jeff, a myeloma survivor, was running with our group, along with Brad, Ramona, Julianna, David Hollingsworth and Larry Baker.  We all got to witness Eric’s focus and relentless consistency as he overcame pain and exhaustion and sleep deprivation.

An important point is that each of us ran much farther than we thought we could.  I had only trained to run thirteen but I pushed myself to run thirty-six over the two days. I just put my pain in the back seat and told it to shut up. I mean, come on. If Eric can do 200…

There will be many who write about the details of this legendary run, and you can watch several videos I posted in Facebook that were broadcast during the experience. I’d like to highlight a couple of things that stuck with me at the finish line. Jeff had told me earlier, “It’s amazing that someone would do something this selfless for me and so many other patients.” After it was done, I saw him take off his sunglasses and breathe in the celebration scene. With tears welling up he simply said, “It’s overwhelming… overwhelming.”

What happened in Central Park this weekend was not really about the run. Eric is not one to give speeches, but they forced him to say a few words at the finish line anyway. He broke into tears when he said “It’s really all about this right here… this community working together.”

For some, there is nothing bigger than finding a cure for cancer.  And for that to happen in our lifetime, we need to continue to work together as a community to raise money and hope. Share the story and donate a few dollars if you can.

I took this picture above before the race began, and the caption is “Love conquers all.” God bless you and your family, Eric Gelber. It was an honor to run by your side. 

Free corporate speak translation

Posted September 5, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General


Just having some fun on Facebook, and I asked my friends to list their favorite “corporate speak” phrases. With all of my years working in large companies, I was able to provide an instant translation. Carin Kyle asked if I could publish a post for sharing.

Each submitted phrase is followed by the translation. I hope this helps you understand what’s really being communicated in your workplace:

We need to socialize that. =
Let’s see if anyone else agrees with your stupid idea.

We don’t have enough bandwidth to handle that request. =
You are not high enough on the food chain for me to have to care about you.

I’ll run that up the flagpole. =
…so it can be shot down from a higher altitude.

We hope everyone buys into the core competencies developed by our SWAT team. =
There is a red laser pointed at your forehead.

It is what it is. =
I revel in the status quo and aspire to mediocrity.

That’s the tactical solution, not the strategic one. =
I would like to slow down the project so we can charge more overtime on it.

Seize this moment and take advantage of the synergistic opportunities that will present themselves. =
I have no idea how I got this job as a manager. Please try to look busy.

We all need to pull together and work as a team. =
Stop doing so well… you’re making the rest of us look bad.

We’re going to have to let you go. =
You are about to make 20% more salary somewhere else.

Virtualize the process and move it to the cloud. =
We are about to completely remove human beings from our customer service.

Your raise is tied to your job importance, not how well you do it. =
We need to free up a head count for someone who can play on the company softball team.

I’ll look into that. =
I will look into that later but I’m sure I will find the same emptiness that I’m feeling right now. Please stop talking to me so I can pick up my son from soccer practice.

We have a firm grasp on our core competency. =
As a leader I have a loose grip on reality.

Creating cross functional teams to drive new use case driven solutions. =
We want to bring dysfunction to a whole new level.

Time to ramp up. =
You are about to experience a very steep incline.

Let’s take this offline. =
You are scaring the children.

Limited restructuring. =
Unlimited absurdity.

We’re going to have to consult with legal and get back to you. =
Our lawyers are about to make you very uncomfortable.

We have too many silos. =
How can we suppress innovation and spending if we can’t see and control everyone’s work?

Let’s set up a quick meeting and discuss strategy and next steps. =
Let’s take an hour out of your day that you can never get back.

Looking at my dashboard, we have some things in our pipeline. =
I am already sand bagging for next quarter.

Got it. =
Got it in the recycle bin.

We need to increase our collaboration with other departments and leverage their resources and experience and not lose focus of our priorities in order to exceed our goals. =
We need someone else to blame this on.

Let’s put the wood behind the arrow. =
Instead of embracing the new high tech tech aluminum arrows, we will continue to use our archaic legacy technology.

We haven’t released the budget. But let’s focus on hitting 110%. =
We will curb overspending by under resourcing you.

We want to be transparent with the changes being made. =
We are actually only capable of being translucent. It will be blurry on purpose.

Our company has never provided that exact service, so we may be short on experience, but I can guarantee we are long on potential. =
So it won’t be long before we come up short on customer service.

You’re fired. =
You are liberated from tyranny.

If you’ve got any more phrases that need instant translation, please post in the comments below. Customer service is my #1 priority.

Acting your age

Posted September 1, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General


“So how is Davy doing in Kindergarten?” My mother was attending her first parent-teacher conference with Virginia Kessler. I remember her as a happy teacher with a brunette beehive and an ever-present smile. And how did Mrs. Kessler perceive me?

“Well, David has been doing extended 20-minute performances in Show and Tell.” My mom was concerned. She asked if this was unfairly taking time away from the other children. Mrs. Kessler smiled, “Oh no, they all LOVE it!”

I have a faint memory of bringing in metal trucks and puppets and acting out stories with them. Heck, I even pecked a few girls on the nose with my Roadrunner puppet. Meep meep!

I was rewarded at an early age for being an entertainer. And my teacher did nothing to stop it. She embraced who I was.

First grade was a different story. My mom recalls that I came home after the first day with a crushed spirit. She went to meet with the serious, silver-haired Mrs. Robinson and asked how I was doing. She replied, “David must have gotten WAY too much free reign in Kindergarten. He has a hard time being quiet during nap time.”

Who remembers this forced “nap time” in elementary school? We had to lie down on folding mats and be quiet for a full 20 minutes. In retrospect, I can see why the teachers needed this time to rest… but what’s the benefit to a bunch of hyperactive 6 year olds? Better to let them outside for an extra recess to burn off the energy.

I saw naptime as an opportunity to talk to my friends and entertain them. Mrs. Robinson saw it as an opportunity to teach me discipline, and gave me stern warnings. “This is not the time to be acting up. Be quiet and act your age!”

“Um… hello. I’m six.”

Fortunately my mom continued to support my outgoing personality throughout my childhood, but I learned that not everyone is going to embrace it… and that there is a time and place for everything.

So here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson AND Mrs. Kessler. You are both still with me. I try to lie down and be quiet in situations where someone else is running the show, but more and more I’m letting the real David rise to the surface. My personal mission is to inspire and entertain as many people as possible, and make their lives better in some way.

If you ever feel like the real you is being suppressed in school or at work, I encourage you to find an outlet to express who you really are. Your best friends are the ones who embrace who you are and love it, right?

You don’t have to act your age if you disagree with the script. Be you.

You’re not the boss of me. Oh wait… you ARE the boss of me

Posted August 27, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General


I believe there are no good or bad bosses. They are all just human beings with a job to get done through the people on their team, and often under great pressure. Some are reluctant managers, promoted from player to coach because there was no one else available. Some bosses are awesome and genuinely care about your success. And yes, some are power-hungry control freaks… but they still get business results.

Here’s the thing. No matter how your boss communicates with you, I believe it’s up to you whether it will be a healthy player/coach relationship or an adversarial one. Even a manager with questionable communication skills can be managed upward. And since that person dramatically influences your paycheck, it’s worth working at it, isn’t it?

Here are a few communication basics that will help your relationship:

  • Ask “What do you need?” and then fulfill those needs on time and under budget
  • Sort your boss’s emails to the top of the inbox and answer them first
  • Volunteer for extra committees and task forces (also good personal networking)
  • Don’t wait until you’re in trouble to ask for help, and thank them when they do help
  • Allow them to take credit for your work (yes, this will pay back later)

Everyone has personal biases and business is never just business, but you don’t have to let it get in the way of work. If you are focused on serving your customers, you will usually have right on your side.

If your boss notices your results, you should get rewarded. If they choose not to, it may be time to take your talents to a boss who will. Before you jump ship, ask yourself “Which boss teaches you more, the easy one or the tough one?”

Pollyanna Pundit Predicts Pervasive Pandemonium

Posted July 19, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: Communication, General, Motivation, Technology


Early politicians had it SO easy. They literally stood up on a stump and gave a rousing speech to a couple hundred people, and reporters without a strong bias one way or the other reassembled it the best they could for actual “news” papers. It would take a few months for the story to reach the rest of the country and there was no critical blowback because readers did not have their own printing presses.

Instead, citizens discussed the issues facing their city, state and country in bars, places of worship and actual, not electronic, town halls. The trolls yelling insults from the back of the room were few and inconsequential. I’m sure they had spirited debate but didn’t shoot people over them, and the mainstreamers likely listened to others’ opinions before deciding how to vote.

Eloquent, positive and inspirational words travelled farther and faster than mudslinging, perhaps because people were looking for vision and strength in potential leaders… and could see past the rhetoric and dirty tricks. I don’t know it as a fact, but I imagine people even switched parties occasionally depending on the strength of the candidates and the most pressing issues of the time.

And now we’re doing this.


Street Jenga Jerks

Posted July 16, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General


It was an impressive stack at least fifteen high. This guy was playing Jenga with oversized blocks on the sidewalk in front of a bar in Las Vegas. As the crowd crawled by, he was carefully trying to extract a block from the middle of the stack. I stopped for a moment to see if he could do it.

Then without provocation, an obviously intoxicated idiot stepped in and kicked over the tower of blocks! Are you kidding me? What a jerk. The people watching cried out in unison “Ahhhhhhh,” and the dude who was playing jumped up and threw his hands in the air in disbelief. I took this photo right after that moment.

I fully expected the Jenga player to go after the jerk, but he did the opposite. He simply sat back down and began to build again, but this time with his back to the attacker to protect his tower. He didn’t attempt to understand why the bully knocked it over. He just began rebuilding in the exact same spot.

Something struck me about his response. I was happy he did not give up on his mission, but I was happier to see him take steps to defend himself. I also wondered how many times he would take that aggression from the jerk before he’d take a swing and lay him out on the sidewalk. And would the crowd join in to help, or lament the poor bully’s hard life and avoid getting involved?

If you ignore an unjustified attack, it’s likely to happen again.

Maybe this post is not about Jenga at all.

A simple gesture

Posted June 17, 2016 by davidgoad
Categories: General, Motivation


Dads live with doubt. Even when you see your kids out of the nest and pursuing their dreams on their own, you wonder if you did your best as a parent. Those days my two kids were born were the most thrilling days of my life, and I am so thankful I had 18 years to watch each of them grow into adulthood.

As Father’s day rolls around each year, I am grateful that my dad and step-dad are both still alive and kicking. And I reflect on my own role as a proud father. I made plenty of mistakes in my life and I didn’t always get my priorities straight. Live and learn, they say. But I worked hard and played hard with my kids, and continue to love them and hope for the best for them. Honestly, Father’s Day is an emotional day for me.

So this morning, as I was paying my bill at Perko’s after an awesome Toastmasters meeting, Don the manager said he was paying for my breakfast as a gift for Father’s Day. I tried to refuse, but he said “No, I really appreciate you and the club coming here. And I know you’re a dad because I hear you bragging about your kids all the time.”

For a rather talkative guy, I stood there speechless. I don’t know exactly what it was about that particular moment, but Don’s simple gesture meant the world to me. My eyes got misty. I wished him a Happy Father’s Day and walked slowly to my car with a big smile on my face.

Simple gestures do not cost much… in this case, only 8.99 plus tax. But the value was immeasurable to me. When the feeling hits you to extend a simple gesture of kindness to someone else, go for it.

That ripple may become a tidal wave of goodwill.