The quest for normal

normal2The quest for normal begins when you start school, with a large group of so-called peers who technically only have age and geography in common with you. You quickly scan the crowd looking for other commonalities that reveal if you belong or not. It’s a natural human instinct to want to belong to a tribe.

“Normal” is a relative term that is often used to single out “abnormal” in the rough and tumble world of playground politics. I saw my kids go through this in elementary school. “You can be in our club, but he can’t.” “I like her, but she doesn’t like you, so therefore I don’t like you either.”

The quest for normal is complete if you’re at least included by somebody.

Fast forward 40 years. I don’t give a crap if someone wants me in their club or not. I have accepted my own diversity and I will start my own damn club if you don’t like me. This is the perspective that age brings. You care less and less about what other people consider to be “normal.”

Now hang on… this may blow your mind. If everyone is truly so unique that it is impossible to be reasonably classified into categories, then “abnormal” is the norm, isn’t it? If everyone likes Alternative Rock, then it is just “Rock,” right?

I don’t care what age you are, embrace your abnormality. It makes you… you.

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4 Comments on “The quest for normal”

  1. undebateable Says:

    Embracing my abnormality – and everyone else’s, too, David.

    Just like one of my favourite quotations:

    “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ― Dr. Seuss

    This is a great message that more people need to embrace. Thanks for the post.


  2. Abnormality is a label. If we want labels to disappear, then we need to stop using them, talking about them and start accepting and respecting everybody and CO-EXIST. Period. Labels represent being judgmental. If we don’t like them being used by others, we should not evem be embracing our ‘abnormal’ – nor call ourselves that. Can’t we just be who we are with no labels? At the end when you die, no one is going to care what titles you have, what labels you give yourself or others give you, what club you belong to or even how much success you’ve had or failure you’ve had. None of that stuff even matters. All that matters is Co-Existence, Acceptance, Respect, Being…. and showing up as our best selves and helping our brothers and sisters, while making this world a better place. It begins with each of us. If we each stop with the labels of normal or abnormal and stop compartmentalizing or categorizing people and do our part in that, there is more hope for change.

    • Al Says:

      So, Stacey. Who get’s to decide what behaviour is worthy of negative judgement and labeling as abnormal. I can think of many activities that are beyond the bounds of normal, civility and humanity… and should be labeled as such.


    • Hi Al! It’s a good question. I don’t think anyone gets to decide any of it. As “Undebatable” says above my comment in quoting Dr. Seuss…. THAT is what it is about. Both of them have summed it up perfectly. YOU ARE YOU. That is truly the only thing we need to know, isn’t it? What David is stating in his blog is that Abnormal is the New Norm…. in actuality – in the human world, yes. But in the soul world – we are who we are. And YOU ARE YOU. Regardless of how others decide who is YOU. Only YOU know. And that is what I am talking about in terms of labels and how dangerous they are.

      My ancestry is Japanese. It is because of ‘that label’ my parents were put in the Internment Camps here in the United States. See how a ‘label’ can make such a huge impact? It is a label and a ‘title’ given to them. While their souls chose their vehicles, and human flesh form, they did not deliberately ask to be labeled. Truth is, my parents were not JUST Japanese-Americans, they were more than this ‘label.’ As WE ALL ARE. EACH ONE OF US IS. It’s like when people ask what your zodiac sign is… and then try to compartmentalize and box you in to being THAT. Well, truth is – you are MORE than that… you are a snowflake and while you may share the same sign as many, that is NOT all you are.

      There are MILLIONS of little things that add up to who we are. But to simplify what David is getting at and what Undebatable states in quoting Dr. Seuss. YOU ARE YOU.

      These clubs, cliques that ‘group’ people are destroying our consciousness. Everyone is looking for where they BELONG.

      But the truth is… we all belong. “WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE.” If you are YOU and you belong wherever you are and you embrace who you are and can BE AND CO-EXIST where you are… are we not US and are we not where we are?

      So what David is saying is…. ‘be okay as you are where you are’ and embrace it. But we shouldn’t label it as abnormality. If we think about life itself… someone who knows no other life can be blissful living that life. If you go to some 3rd world countries… they only know what they know. When we get into ‘human’ mode and start obsessing over labels, belonging, materialism or titles, we’re missing what the meaning of life is. These ‘things’ are not the meaning of life. Life is what you make it. But we don’t need labels or titles to BE WHO WE ARE or to BELONG… nor should we need to. ACCEPT. RESPECT. LOVE. GIVE. BE.


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