In other words

The crisp Autumn air is rolling in and the season has begun… that’s right, election campaign season!  Should I publicly pick a side and alienate exactly half my friends?  No. I’d rather have some fun pointing out how politicians spin the English language.

A clever euphemism can be a powerful ally in a campaign, and can completely reframe a debate in your favor.  For example, it’s much easier to support “Undocumented Workers” than it is “Illegal Aliens.”  Would you rather be labeled “Pro-Abortion” or “Pro-Choice?”  Are you guilty of “Waterboarding” or just following “Enhanced Interrogation Techniques?” 

“Global Warming” is now called “Climate Change,” which pretty much covers any weather pattern, doesn’t it?  If you’re a weekend hunter, do you really support “Assault Weapons?”  What if we were raising taxes on the “Highest Earners” instead of “The Rich?” 

Here are a few new euphemisms to help you politicians continue to confuse and confound the general public:

  • “Raising Taxes” will now be “Reducing Excess Wealth”
  • “Budget Deficit” is just a “Temporary Account Overdraft”
  • “Recession” will be known as an “Economic Rest Period”
  • “Rising Unemployment” is a “Job-Switching Program”
  • “War” will be an “Aggressive Peace Initiative”
  • “Pork” will now be “The Other White Meat”

If you’re running for office, I hope this helps you.  I appreciate you stepping up to serve, and feel free to use these phrases royalty-free. All I ask in return is that when you get to your new public office, please put the public’s needs ahead of your own while you’re there.  Thank you in advance for your honesty and integrity.

Explore posts in the same categories: Humor

3 Comments on “In other words”

  1. Larry Humes Says:

    Well said, David. You are obviously qualified to run for office (-;

    • Ron Says:

      Nah, David’s far too smart to run for office. ;8-)>

      I’ve always thought politics should be a “draft-only” proposition. Anyone who WANTS to run is either: 1.) Crazy, or 2.) Fixated on an agenda most of us probably don’t want.

      Why else would anyone submit themselves to the kind of harrassment politicians (even the “good ones”) go through nowadays?

      Public service? Right. Maybe in 10% of their cases. Otherwise I think they’re going for the “low-hanging fruit”. Oh, let’s make that “Early Opportunities for Revenue Enhancement”… (One for the list…)

      Sorry to be cynical, but I find that’s the way my predictions come out right most often.

  2. Patricia Says:

    Good Job, Dave, in capturing the word manipulation of politicians who wish to mask the pain of reality. I think some folks are getting more tuned in and are watching the behavior instead of the words of folks in office.

    Sadly, folks are wanting some good news right now which makes them even more vulnerable to believe some of what they hear and some folks are throwing their hands up and saying they give up altogether in trying to engage in being apart of the solution in our country.

    I believe we must stay engaged in trying to work out the problems. The alternatitive is unacceptable to most Americans.


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